Pride Month

With the world in agony over so many problems, it is still time to pause and remember June is still Pride Month.  The riots over the senseless death of yet another black man have reached close to home around here in Cincinnati with public curfews in the city over the past several nights. The only positive tie in between the unrest and Pride is as you probably remember the “Stonewall” riots in NYC were the beginning of Pride.
Around here too, all the many Pride celebrations have been cancelled until later in the year due to concerns over the virus. 
I simply ask all of you to join with me in remembering all of those who have gone before to secure the very tentative rights we enjoy.

Thank You!

Thanks to all of you who have made comments here in Cyrsti’s Condo or perhaps are new visitors to the blog. It means a lot! This includes those of you who comment through Facebook. 🙂

As far as the weekend went, we had another Cincinnati Witches Ball committee meeting to go to plus the ever exciting weekly trip to the grocery store. Both went without a hitch. I switched up my outfits by wearing my paisley soft leggings I love so much with my long red sweater and boots of course. 

As I mentioned in my last post, the two “C”s (Comfort and Confidence) mean so much when combating my gender dysphoria. Again, as I mentioned, I didn’t realize how deep my dysphoria ran.  Perhaps it all stems from a few highly unsuccessful  feminine trips in the public eye years ago when I first began to explore a new scary but exciting world. Basically, this was back in the 80’s when times were very different.  Most of my problems were self created to be truthful.

Basically, I made the mistake of dressing for men and not women. Specifically, I dressed too trashy and drew too much unneeded attention.  I was stubborn though and figured since I didn’t get to go out much, I needed to go all out and get the most bang for the buck. All of it resulted into too many mini skirts and high heeled days. 

The only time I was really successful was when I dressed professionally and happened to blend with other cis women dressed the same way. 

Which leads me full circle to the night I went out to purposely be a woman and blend in with other women getting off work from a local upscale mall. I was scared to death as I made my way to the upscale bar and ordered a cocktail. The first lesson I learned was, I lived. The second lesson was (after I relaxed) was I lived and actually felt very good doing it. The problem was I felt so good I knew I would experience more problems going back to my male life. 

Little did I know, years later I would still be experiencing much of the same feelings. 

Enough of me though. Thanks again to all of you for visiting!   

Friday Night Puns

As the national holiday for cross dressers everywhere rapidly approaches (Halloween), I hope you have your costume ideas all together. I remember the extreme stress I went through. First and foremost, I wanted to try to come up with a costume idea similar to what a cis woman would wear. Then, I had to try to come up with a date I could be free so I could attend some sort of a party.

I worked in the restaurant business, so most of the time it meant working all weekends. Plus, getting all dolled up cross dressed for work was out of the question. After all I had my macho image to protect, primarily because of the white redneck kitchen crews I had to manage. One of the prime reasons I don’t have more Halloween stories to share. 

Also, not all of the experiences were positive. I remember the times when the high heels I wore killed my feet. Or for some reason the few parties I wasn’t accepted well at. The times I was touched inappropriately come to mind too. I guess I learned the hard way what cis women go through when they dress a certain way. 

But all in all, the good times out numbered the bad. Including the experience I shared about the politician and his wife.  Here is where the “puns” come in. Compliments of Connie (of course):

“Maybe it was the politician’s wife who was more interested? Or, a ménage à trois that could lead to a raucous in the caucus? Or, something profunda in the rotunda? A congressional confessional? :-)”   Probably all of the above!

Before Liz and I go out tonight to a Halloween party at a local venue we are close to, I thought I would share a picture of both of us. Taken last winter. Maybe I will have a picture taken tonight if I think about it. 

Also thanks to Connie for the political puns! 

Liz and Jessie selfie taken last winter in downtown Cincinnati, Ohio

Transgender Fun?

With my colonoscopy behind me (no pun intended) it is now time to move on to more pleasant pursuits.  By the way, the colon check came up with no major problems and a scheduled return trip in five years. I so fortunate now my heart, lung and colon tests have returned no problems.

Now I can get back to day to day life. Wednesday night I have a Transgender Day of Remembrance committee meeting at a well known coffee shop. I’m in good shape for the meeting for a change because I was instrumental in lining up two speakers, who in turn lined up another speaker.  As I have mentioned before, the event is coming together well.

The weekend is turning out to be a busy one.  Friday night we are going against the political grain and will be joining the former moderator/social director of the transgender – cross dresser group I am still part of. I have decided to pick and choose the most interesting sounding events from both groups and see what happens. I feel like neither side controls me so I am free to do what I want to do. Plus, if the truth be known, if I ruffle a few feathers, so be it. We will be going to a dinner and Halloween party.

Saturday, the football gods are with us again.  The Ohio State Buckeyes play the very competitive Wisconsin Badgers at noon…which will give us time to go to a local Creole Restaurant I have been wanting to go to for quite a while.  It is actually going to be a belated birthday dinner for me. 

The weekend will wrap up of course on Sunday. Since the football Bengals are no wins and seven losses, we have no real desire to watch them anymore unless improvements are made. So, we have plenty ot time to run our errands. 

So life is good.

Another Group?

Perhaps you remember the transgender woman I have called “The Moderator” here in Cyrsti’s Condo. She is the one who ran all of the transgender – cross dresser support group meetings I normally attend, as well as most of the trans socials. 

For some reason I don’t know, she abruptly left the Crossport group this week. I would imagine sooner or later I will hear gossip why but I haven’t so far.

In the meantime (and very rapidly) the expelled member has started her own group. So far she is trying to mimic the well established first group by hosting two support group meetings a month, plus at least three socials. 

So far, Liz and I have been invited to join the new group on Facebook, plus the first social this Saturday night. I am not sure what we are going to do yet. 

On one hand, I wouldn’t mind going. On the other, I would like to have a few more details on what caused the split.

This Saturday is one of the rare days during the college football season which The Ohio State University Buckeyes aren’t playing. So, Liz and I have a open possible date night. 

I still have a couple of days to figure it out and see what the original group does to schedule any of their regular socials. 

No need to hurry! 

Truthfully, I don’t think this city has a large enough base to support two groups which at least outwardly are so similar.

We will see what happens.

Fall has Fallen

FINALLY! A break from the record hot streak we have seen around here (SW Ohio) in late September and early October. Today is supposed to be over twenty two degrees cooler than yesterday. Fashion wise, it will help me decide what I am wearing to our latest paranormal ghost hunt tonight,  With the new chillier temperatures and with spending all night in a very old mansion, I have decided to wear a long sleeved t-shirt Liz bought me out in Colorado while we were on vacation. I will pair the t-shirt with my distressed black jeans. My goal is not to scare the spirits and blend in with what the other cis women in the group will be wearing.

As far as footwear is concerned, I am declaring this to be the last day for my walking boot. So, just in case I end up walking a long way tonight, I will have the boot to help me. I have not experienced any discomfort in a while and can’t get anyone at the VA to give me an answer. So it’s gone tomorrow unless I get a call today.

The ghost hunt tonight will preclude Liz and I going to the monthly cross dresser-transgender social tonight.

But I have been attending the planning meetings for this years’ Transgender Day of Remembrance. It’s tough on me because I am still so new to the Cincinnati metro area and have very little knowledge of the resources available. What I am trying to do is line-up several transgender speakers of color. So far I have been able to come up with a maybe from two. Overall it’s going to be a quality somber event and we want to feature the fact the greatest percentage of tragic transgender murders take place against persons of color.

The event will take place this year on November 20th. To make a long story short, I am proud to provide whatever assistance I can.

Different Strokes

Sometimes I wonder why I continue to be a regular at the one transgender – cross dresser (Cincinnati) group I go to. The easy answers are I enjoy it and think I have something to add.

The reason I think I have something to add is very simple…I have just survived longer than anyone else in the group. I get many “aha” moments when the occasional cross dresser will deny any advanced feelings about becoming a woman and then, in the next breath say she can’t wait to go somewhere and have men hit on her. I smile knowingly, remembering when I felt the same way. I thought when and if a man hit on me, it was a validation of my feminine self.

It’s a small example of what I hear and feel at the meetings. I am also fascinated by the cross section of socio-economic types who attend. In other words, how such a different cross section of people can come together for a couple hours to hopefully help each other.

My big input at the meeting last night was what I wrote about in Cyrsti’s Condo yesterday. I mentioned the benefit of getting into group situations outside of the LGBTQ community. It is a chance for you to be accepted as a person for a change…not a transgender person. An example is the one person who came to the meeting last night who is a member of two belly dancing groups. I know at least three readers who do the same thing. Paula over in the UK with her music groups, Mandy in all her travels and of course Connie who works a whole job as a woman. (And I know I missed many of you!)

The fact remains not everyone’s goal is to live full time as a woman, however , one should never say never. I am proof of that.

Sometimes I think I am a glutton for punishment. Last night I volunteered to run for the board of the group. However, someone else is too, so maybe they will be chosen instead of me. I am qualified from running years of board meetings with several civic organizations. So we will see.

In the meantime, I will continue to add in my comments and observations when I see fit and hope I don’t bore too many people!

All Nighter

As expected, Saturday was a long day. Liz sold her canning items successfully during the small festival we went to.  Best of all, it was a picture perfect almost early fall like day. Since I am still in my “fashion” medical boot, mobility was at a minimum. Acceptance of me as a transgender woman was not as a minimum though. Many of the people there I already knew, so in ways they probably didn’t understand, they paved the way for others to accept me too. 

The day passed fairly quickly and it was time to go a ghost hunt. We (Liz and I) are now members in good standing of the local “Cincinnati Ghost Hunters” group. Since we completed our second paranormal adventure. This one was quite a bit more tame intensity wise than the first one was but still interesting. I did have a fairly intense encounter with a spirit on a old church pew upstairs in the opera house. I was watching the reactions on a meter as I asked questions and was told later I should have taped the whole encounter. It  was a spur of the moment thing though, so I didn’t have a recorder as my cell phone was almost out of charge.

The whole evening was finished off with an impromptu classic rock music presentation by one of the event organizers. At that point I was able to try to shake off the effects of the mocha espresso drink I had been sipping and try to lay down in the car and sleep for a couple hours.  I do believe I did manage to get an hour and a half of sleep. 

I do know at this point of my life, it is tough to shake off the affects of having very little sleep and I spent most of Sunday dozing off. 

Regardless of how it happens, I can’t empathize the possible positive impact of joining various groups who are not particularly LGBTQ influenced. Along the way, I have been able to be accepted for the transgender person I am and at the same time show another group of people how easy it is to know a trans person.

It’s great to show people we are not really so much different than they are after all. Tonight I return to reality though and attend another transgender – crossdresser support group meeting.   

While My Blog Gently Weeps

It’s bad enough when yet another mass shooting in El Paso, Texas rocks our country again. But, the second shooting in Dayton, Ohio hit really close to home.

The tragic shooting took place in a trendy restoration district in Dayton, full of bars and restaurants. I know it well. It was one of the first places I went to explore my transgender feminine world. I have many fond memories and can’t imagine why a shooter would chose it to forever mark it in this violent way.

I haven’t been there for a few years since I moved to Cincinnati, Ohio. 

Cases such as yesterday have a tendency to bring fear to my heart when Liz and I are out and about. An example was yesterday when Liz and I finished our witches ball meeting. We were walking hand in hand to the car when I noticed a forty something couple glaring at us. Of course, the younger people had no reaction at all. I did wonder what problem they had with us. Was it because I was transgender or the fact we were holding hands. Guess, I will never know. Maybe they were just anti LGBTQ rednecks. After all, Resident Rump and his best closeted boy Pence were just in town. 

Back to the point at hand. I am far from smart enough to suggest anything far reaching enough to stem this epidemic of gun violence in this country.

I do know though, something different needs to be done. Sending thoughts and prayers has just become too hollow. 

Perhaps we should take a lesson or two from the fiftieth anniversary of Woodstock…try preaching Peace and Love to get guns out of the hands of those who shouldn’t have them to start with. And maybe start with getting Russian NRA blood money out of congress. 

I know I am a dreamer but I shouldn’t be the only one.

She’s Baack!

Three thousand five hundred miles (round trip) later, we (Liz and I) are back safe and sound from our trip to Colorado.

Very early in the trip, I began to think of myself as a “navigator.” Of course my thoughts had nothing to do with the route we traveled itself but instead with navigating the people around me. To be expected the majority of the bus was filled with people my age or older. I’m nearly seventy. Plus, many were from the rural areas of Indiana. Not quite the hot bed of liberal thought.

Fortunately, I had Liz running interference for me.  Quite early in the eleven day trip, the wife of the host of the trip referred to me as “he.” Liz set her straight and from then on, at the least, I was referred to by my name. Not mis-pronouned. I only heard the dreaded he word once to my face.

More important though, was how I interacted with everybody. I tried to smile and be as interactive as possible and it worked.

The moment of truth on these trips always comes when all the riders have to use the rest room. I think there were only five or six men on the trip out of a total of 38 people. So spots in the women’s restrooms were at a premium. Most of the places we were able to stop at were at the big truck stops along the interstates we traveled. I am happy to say, I experienced no problems.

The only problem I did experience, was with the thin air as we climbed to Denver (and above), We were able to find a place along the way which sold cans of oxygen to help some of us out. We actually crossed the continental divide twice.

The trade out was the lack of humidity we are cursed with here in Cincinnati. Even though we did experience a little rain in Colorado, overall, we escaped some pretty good sized storms. One of the interstates in Denver was closed by a mud slide, fortunately not in the direction we were going.

I did fairly well in the packing department. Although we did have to was some clothes about halfway through the trip.

What I did come away with was, most of the people adjusted quickly and well to a transgender person being along for the ride. Now they can say they have met a real live trans woman.  Also, since it has been since the mid 1970’s I have been out west that far, I had forgotten the sheer size of our country. Plus, I know I have only scratched the surface.

Even though I was welded to a bus seat for that long, the trip will produce many fond memories and I will have a few pictures coming up!