The Time of Discovery

This week by chance, I have encountered not one but two individuals close to my age strongly considering following  seriously their feminine gender urges. Perhaps you noticed  I didn’t use the transgender word to describe either because they didn’t.  Both were so new in their explorations, I think they were involved in the brave new world of gender exploration, they didn’t know where they were on the journey. 

One discussion was involved with how my initial results went when I first started hormone replacement therapy. It seemed, the person had started some sort of hormones without a doctors guidance by obtaining non prescription meds. Of course I  passed along my usual warning concerning starting the HRT without medical guidance could be hazardous to one’s overall health. Secondly, she wanted to know how fast the effects of the hormones showed to the point of not being able to hide my gender changes any longer.

In my case, although everyone’s case is different, minimum dosages of estradiol and a testosterone blocker within six months produced effects which were hard to hide. My skin and face softened, my hair grew long enough for a pony tail and of course my budding breast growth was getting harder and harder to hide. There was a definite difference for me of having “man boobs” and the feminine set of breasts I was magically growing. To make a long story short, I was forced out of my male closet and into my authentic self faster than I ever imagined. At this time, after my wife passed away, I was living by myself and my two dogs didn’t care what I looked like. So, I didn’t have an  un-supporting  spouse to worry about. 

The second person, is local and seemed to be very impressed she had found a supporting group of individuals who are transgender, questioning or cross dressing folk. Ironically, she was drafted into the Army nearly the same time I was in 1971.  At the time, the problem of going into the Army seemed as if it would be the worst possible move as I tried to deal with my mis-understood gender dysphoria. Years later though, I still reap the benefits of my service by taking advantage of Veteran’s Administration health.

Overall, I was able to provide a positive look into what a transgender life can look like if certain factors come into line.  At least, that is my goal.

I’m very comfortable pointing out to people too, the whole gender transition process I went through was no walk in the park and I went through my share of doubts and dark days. 

The whole process of discovering my true self proved to be very  satisfying for me. The alternative of cross dressing and acting like a man would have led me to an early grave. 

Giggles

There are many reactions I have encountered over the years here in Cyrsti’s Condo. The most memorable being “Just another old guy on hormones.” When I wrote on starting hormone replacement therapy. 

Recently, “The Cat Lady” commented on another reaction…giggles:

“I’m sorry but you made me giggle when you talked about learning the ways of the bra. I guess since I’ve worn bras, off and on, since I was in my teens, I don’t even think about it anymore. For me, it’s like putting on a blouse, a tight fitting tee shirt or stretch jeans. You feel it at first but not until later in the day do you feel it again. Yes, I still feel the restriction at times but in reality it all depends on the bra.

Now on to you mentioning about cup sizes. I learned a long time ago that when transitioning our breasts will usually only develop to one cup size smaller than our mother’s size. I am a C cup and my mother was a DD cup. But here’s a little insight into womanhood, a lot of women will tell you that they are not satisfied with their breast size. They are either not big enough to be ultra sexy or too small for the same reason. That’s why plastic surgeons make so much money.

Here’s an article you may want to check out and talk to your endo about: https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/104/4/1181/5270376

Just remember lady, being a woman is a complex situation that we all find somewhat confusing at times. Especially to those of us that didn’t have the luxury of learning in our younger years.”

Thanks Michelle and a giggle or two is fine, I am sure I have had much worse! 

Unfortunately, I somewhat restricted by my Veteran’s Administration endo doc and what she can prescribe by the VA standards. I can say though she is learning quickly and is suddenly asking all the right questions about feminine results to my body. The link above refers to progesterone which will be an interesting conversation. As I have written before, my endo is concerned about my age when prescribing me meds. 

As far as all women and their breasts are concerned, it seems to me the “grass (or the breast) is always greener on the other side. I know my partner Liz (DD breasts) comments on hers are too big and a hassle.  I feel with my frame, D’s would be ideal but I can certainly live and be satisfied with what I have achieved. A “C” cup. 

When the Covid crisis lifts and we can begin to go out again, I plan on doing some serious bra shopping.

Obviously the model below is not me!

Transgender Influencer?

 Emma Ellingsen is a 19 year old Norwegian model and You Tuber. She is referred to as an “influencer” because people don’t believe she is transgender because of her looks. She is currently going out of her way to tell people all transgender people don’t have to look alike. 

FYI…Emma was able to get a head start on her feminine life by taking puberty blockers at the age of thirteen and HRT at sixteen. And of course, here is her picture:

Gift Package

Well. after a year’s wait to get my Estradiol meds increased, my new patches came in approximately five days through the mail. There are several different methods of taking the meds. 

You can take them by swallowing pills, taking shots or by applying stick on patches.  My endocrinologist prefers the patch method due to possible blood clot issues. I know from talking to other transgender women, the other methods are preferred too. For many different reasons. Plus, I have to take the good and the bad in the Veterans Administration medical system.  Obviously, the good is that it is free. The bad is that normally you are restricted in what the VA provides as far as hormone replacement therapy goes. An example is progesterone.

Progesterone as an additional hormone has never been mentioned to me. In the past, I have had some trans friends who took progesterone. One developed the annoying habit of lactating under her shirt while she was still dressing like a guy at work. 

Believe me, I am not complaining. I understand my endocrinologist has always erred on the side of caution with me. I know, as well as she does, the threat of possible blood clots is always possible. 

In fact, I had to go through several vascular and heart tests to even get approved for this increase. 

I start the new patches on Tuesday and I am interested to see how it affects me. After all it’s a 25%  increase.

We will see if it’s enough to induce hot flashes again.

Success

Finally my endocrinologist got in touch with me yesterday.  Approximately a week and half ago I did my blood labs to check my hormone levels.

My testosterone levels came back half of what the normal prescribed amount, so that is good if you are a transgender woman. Which of course I am. No real surprise because at my age, my testosterone would be decreasing anyway. 

More importantly my estrogen amount was also low enough to be able to increase my dosage of estradiol (estrogen). 

Since I passed all my blood clot, heart, lung and colon tests with flying colors, I was approved for an increase in my hormone patches from 1.5 milligrams to 2.0. Now all I am left with wondering how long it will take me to get my new patches. 

What I hope will happen is a decrease in my overall body hair again and maybe an increase in my hips. The process started then stopped.

Of course due to my age and VA supervision, I have to be monitored again in about six months. By “monitored” I mean I have to have my blood tests done again to check my estrogen level. Sometimes I am fairly certain I set a record for the number of blood tests taken at the Dayton, Ohio VA.

I am not complaining though. I have been trying to get my Estradiol increased for the past year or so. With the increase, I still will only be at the level of several of the other trans women I know. I also know my endocrinologist is acting out of caution. Again due to my age.

Which I appreciate.