More Queens

It turns out, my posts objecting to the domination of drag queens in more than a few of the LGBT Pride events elicited several wonderful comments on the three platforms I am writing on now (Blogger, WordPress and Medium).

Here is one from Michelle: 

” I have to say that you might be a bit wrong about the Queens doing nothing for the community. Connie is right about how most trans women just want to blend in but the Queens help to off set attention so that we can blend in without too much trouble. You have to remember that it was the Queens and gays of the Stonewall riots that brought the subject of trans into the open. That one incident helps so many find that they were not alone in the world.Yes, Queens are know for looking and acting over the top but one has to remember that they are like that because they are entertainers if nothing else. I also know that many of them don’t always dress or act outlandish all the time. Many try to wear “normal” everyday wear most of the time. Unfortunately many still end up wearing the heavy makeup to help hide the male flaws.

I remember when I first met a Queen in the Rittenhouse area of the city. She was both beautiful as well as sometimes outrageous. One thing that she did for me was to help me see what life was like for transgendered individuals back in the 60’s. She helped me understand the problems I might encounter through life, many were very accurate, even to this day.
I found a very informative unabridged version of a book chapter from “Trans bodies Trans selves”. It’s a bit long but well worth the read.
https://www.umass.edu/stonewall/sites/default/files/Infoforandabout/transpeople/genny_beemyn_transgender_history_in_the_united_states.pdf”

Thanks Michelle.

When Nature Calls

Amanda not so long ago wrote into my email describing a few of her experiences using the women’s room when nature calls and she has to simply go to the bathroom.

She also asked for some of my experiences. First of all, I haven’t used a man’s restroom for over a decade now but my introduction into using the women’s room wasn’t an easy one. I have written before when I had the police called on me several times when all I was trying to do was relieve myself of excess beer. 

Looking back, realistically, I brought on most of the problems I had upon myself.  As I explored the feminine world in the early days, primarily I fell victim to ill fitting wigs which were poor fashion choices. Until I was able to grow my own hair, was I able to present more effectively as a woman. Which in turn enabled me to have my own female rest room “pass”. No pun intended.

Other factors which helped me immensely were how I viewed and adapted myself to the new rest room etiquette I was being exposed to. I made sure I was neat and tidy as I took care of essential business even to the point of trying to duplicate the sound of women peeing in the toilet bowl as close as I could. Plus, just to make sure I was prepared years ago, I always carried a feminine hygiene product in my purse in case anyone asked to try me. 

The rest was relatively easy.  I had to learn to adjust my urges to the normally longer lines to the women’s restrooms. Plus I had to learn to make eye contact and not be afraid to converse with other women in line. 

Finally, I had to make sure I quickly checked my hair and makeup as I always washed my hands and quickly (or efficiently) left and returned to my seat. To this day though, I still retain the scars of my early experiences in the rest rooms. I always check to see if anyone is going out of their way to stare at me or even glare. 

I must say though, along the way, similar to the rest of the transgender journey I have chosen, I have been exposed to a number of humorous or even surprising rest room experiences. The most interesting one was at a Cincinnati Pride

Picture from Cincinnati Pride

event a couple summers ago when one of the few free standing restrooms available was half closed due to a hornet infestation.  All the men were forced to use the women’s room and the response was comical and classic as toilet paper was passed along the line. The most surprising experience I ever had was when I was at a concert one night and was waiting in the woman’s room line. Once I finally made it close enough to the room itself, I observed a woman swinging from one of the stalls trying to break the lock off the door. My ideas of women respecting their restroom more than men was forever shattered. 

Overall, I think attitudes over restroom usage have definitely lightened up. Plus the number of gender neutral restrooms have increased.

Thanks Amanda for the question. 

Pooya!

If you haven’t seen or heard, Pantene is starring a 41 year old transgender woman as one of it’s models:”When Pooya Mohseni was 19 years old, she was walking around a park in her hometown of Tehran, Iran, wearing a simple black T-shirt and white jeans, when a group of policemen approached her.The officers took issue with how Mohseni, a transgender woman who was presenting as masculine at the time, wore her hair. To them, it was too long.

Pooya Mohseni

“My hair was down to the middle of my ears,” Mohseni, now 41, tells Refinery29. “Not very long at all. If I pulled it all to the front of my face, it would come down to the middle of my nose.” 
According to Mohseni, the officers’ real problem wasn’t her hair. It was what her hair signified.  Almost two decades later, that very same head of hair is making its debut in a new Pantene campaign called “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m #BeautifuLGBTQ,” which was born out of the brand’s new partnership with GLAAD in honor of Pride Month. In a video for the campaign that can be seen on both YouTube and social media, Mohseni recounts her arrest and declares that “hair is the most visibly transformative part of your body.”
I agree and still feel so fortunate I was able to grow my own hair. It forced me into going all out to adopt a stable feminine persona. The drawback of course is making sure I keep up with it at my stylist!

More Visibility

Perhaps you have heard (or have seen) Boston has named a transgender model Ava Glasscott as a co-parade Marshall for this year’s Pride Parade. Here is more background on Ava (below):

 “Ava represented the State of Massachusetts in the Miss Trans USA Pageant 2018. She is the first post-op transgender contestant from New England to represent her Community in a National Pageant. The story of Ava’s journey as a trans model has been featured by NBC Boston and the WCVB-TV show “Chronicle.”  Ava made a cameo in Amy Schumer’s 2018 movie “I Feel Pretty,” which was filmed in Boston. She also appeared in the documentary film “All Stars: The Changing Face of Drag (2016)”, which she promoted at RuPaul’s DragCon in Los Angeles.”

What a great  choice for a huge event.