On the Edge

Recently here in Cyrsti’s Condo we have been discussing the ramifications of coming out as a transgender woman. Mmarsha in particular has commented on her struggles in deciding to come out or not. Obviously, there is no easy answer for attempting one of the more difficult journeys a human can attempt. While it’s true the final decision may come down to transitioning or the grave (in my case), even that can turn out to be an oversimplification. After all, in many transition cases there are families and jobs to consider. At the least, it’s a daunting journey for anyone to take. Perhaps the worst part is when it takes years for wins for anyone can appear. After all, any way you approach it, a gender transition is not an overnight experience. It is definitely a marathon, not a sprint. 

Speaking of transgender marathons and journeys, here is Connie’s take on her trip:  

“Of course, my trans journey has involved a self-sabotage to my income, through my yielding to my gender identity over taking care of my business. The stress of trying to live a balanced life between the two, with the added stress from the fear of being outed, finally became impossible. My business would have suffered a quick death, had that fear become reality, but I realized that a slower death of the business was taking place with the distraction of my dysphoria. It could have resulted in my own death, as well. Ultimately, I chose to be a woman of very modest means instead of the moderately successful businessMAN I was. I still hold hope that I may, someday, become a moderately successful businessWOMAN, however. Nevertheless, I am still a woman alive!

My congratulations, or sympathies, go out to those who are doing their balancing acts. It depends on their own aspirations as to which of those I may extend. For me, though, “Lord, I can’t go back there!””

I too empathize with those doing the balancing act. Like Connie’s reference to the old “R. Dean Taylor” song about Indiana and the law, I can’t go back there either. 

I found my true home after crossing the gender frontier. It was far from easy but worth it in the long term. Then again, I learned I never had much of a choice. 

In Response

In response to the Cyrsti’s Condo post concerning class reunions and similar events  (I suppose anything requiring you to see people who knew you before your transition.) I received this comment from Connie:

“My high school 50th reunion is taking place as I write this…at home. I only attended the school my senior year, and I didn’t really get to know many of my classmates. If I had attended a reunion, it would have been for the school I had gone to before – in another town that I grew up in. Compared to the school I graduated from, with a class of over 600, the other had only 220. I knew almost everybody there, and a coming out, I thought, surely would have had more impact. Their reunion was last week, and, as it turned out, I would have been only one of seven who were in attendance.

Since I didn’t waste time and money traveling back to my old school last week, it doesn’t make me feel that I’m missing anything tonight, either. In fact, the best reason for not going is that the one high school friend with whom I had kept in touch (and who knows of my transition) sent a text to me a couple of weeks ago that read: “Hey (dead name), lookin’ forward to seeing you at the reunion.” I can’t imagine subjecting myself to the possibility of something like that 600 times over.

But you wanted an enjoyable story. Well, instead of going out tonight, I stayed home to baby sit my 21-month-old granddaughter. She’ll always love me for who I am, because she’ll only ever know me as that. This is so much more enjoyable!”

What a great way to get a new generation started right!


Transgender actress, Trace Lysette:

Trace Lysette posted nude for Women’s Health Naked Strength issue, which she described as an incredibly empowering experience given the pressures she faces as a transgender woman, according to an article dictated by the actress for Women’s Health.

In the photo, the Transparent actress posed nude against a tree with her side turned toward the camera. With one hand, she supported herself against the tree while the other rested on the knee of her bent leg, strategically covering her side breast. With the other leg stretched out behind her, the 31-year-old showed off her flawless figure and ample backside while gazing unsmiling at the camera. She wore her long, brown, curly hair loose and flowing down her back while her face was made up with subtle eye makeup and pink lips.

In the article, Trace also opened up about being trans. The Ohio native went on to say:

“As women, we are told not to show our bodies, and as trans people, we’ve been told not to exist. There is something so liberating and beautiful about being naked on your own terms.”

We all should be able to transition as well!!! 

Going “Full-time”

I am fairly sure there are more than a few Cyrsti’s Condo readers who are considering and or dreaming of going 24/7 as a transgender woman. As I read back to some of my oldest posts from five or so years ago, one of the biggest changes I noticed was the influence of how I looked back then versus my addiction today to how I am treated by the public.

Much of it continues to amaze me in how different it all is from my perceptions years ago.  After I went through the basics of gender discrimination and losing my male privilege, the reality of an everyday existence set in. All of a sudden, I had to plan way ahead  on what I was going to wear and try to figure out how I was going to blend in the easiest way with other women where I was going. 

Let’s just say most of my preconceived ideas of completing a Mtf gender transition were not accurate at all. I still suffer from gender dysphoria after all these years and probably always will. Regardless of being able to navigate society as a feminine person, I am still deeply hurt when I get mis-gendered. I am reasonably sure I always will. I always try to keep in mind I suffered from sixty plus years of testosterone poisoning, so I am fortunate to have come as far as I have.

For another look at the process, here is a comment from Connie:

“Dreaming of going to a full-time existence is based on our experiences of one-event-at-a-time. Living every moment of every day as a woman eventually becomes the new normal, but it need not be any less exciting. Just living life as ones true self is amazing in itself. Or, as I like to say, I know I am really living when those things that were once extraordinary become ordinary – which is extraordinary in itself.”

So true! Thanks!