A Partner?

I received several very good comments on my recent Cyrsti’s Condo post concerning the day my wife suddenly had the chance to turn into my competitor when it came to a gender confrontation with another guy. It was turning into an increasingly flirtatious situation. 
The first comment comes from Michelleisback:

 ” I know that the situation, where one realizes the dynamics of male/female interaction, has both good and bad connotations when it comes to wife and husband relationships. It’s a real eye opener when you realize that you are the third party wallflower girlfriend, when watching you spouse interact with a male. It makes one wonder if she sees you as competition or just someone that has no recourse but to just go for the ride along and just sit quietly in the background. i guess all you can hope for is that your relationship with her is strong enough to remind her that you are partners in life.”

Thanks for the comment! Unfortunately, I don’t think my wife ever got to the point of ever seeing me as anything else but competition. In other words, our relationship as two women was toxic. Even though over the years I changed so much  as I grew into being a transgender woman, I am not so sure we could have ever made it together as a couple. 

In fact, before she passed away I was trying to live as a man the best I could. If I had to guess, I don’t think I could have made it much farther the way I was going.

I will post another comment later!


Over the years there have been several very questionable dating sites which claimed to be for transgender and/or cross dressers to contact others who may be interested. I can’t remember even during my “active” dating site days I ever really spent much time trying any of the trans sites.

Instead, I tried the other mostly free sites under different titles. On one I would be a woman looking for a woman, on another I would be a man looking for a woman. From there, in my profile, I would point out I was transgender.

During this time I was desperately lonely and was fortunate to have a person such as my partner Liz respond to one of my postings on a dating site called Zoosk.. I was very impressed when we started to correspond even after she found out I was transgender. Instead of my “come hither” look which Connie always mentions in my pictures of that era, Liz said I had “sad eyes.” Sad eyes or not, we are still together nearly nine years later although I had to go through tons of idiots to arrive at where I am.

All these years later, I do feel we as a transgender population are making strides even with the disaster in Washington so maybe this new trans dating site may be an improvement:

“Transer is a true dating service that allows everyone to showcase their true colors and be accepted and loved for who they are. Designed as a platform for transgender dating, Transer connects men and women around the world looking for romance or love and addresses the many modern challenges of real-world or online dating. To learn more, please visit GoTranser.com.”